I was little, and running naked by the sea felt completely normal.
And not just for kids. In many European countries, grown-ups often “forget” to put their bathing suit tops on, and let’s just say… no one is pointing fingers. Lol
Meanwhile, after I immigrated to the U.S. and became a mom, there I was—dressing my 9-month-old daughter in a two-piece swimsuit.
It made me realize: It’s not the clothes—it’s all the “shoulds.”
Let’s strip them back.
First, overbooking activities.
I remember the smell of wet earth and the feel of muddy hands as a child playing outdoors. No rigid schedule—just the wind, laughter, and endless imagination. Now, I watch children being rushed from one structured activity to the next.
At one point, Julia, at just 2½ years old, was doing ballet, jazz, gymnastics, private singing lessons, and Irish dance… all at the same time. Maybe I’d keep a teenager that busy. But a toddler? 😑
The takeaway? It’s not structure that’s wrong—it’s when we forget to leave room for wonder. Let’s allow them space to play, breathe, and lead the way.
Ask yourself: Am I signing my child up because everyone else is, or because it fits our family’s rhythm? Let them have space to breathe.
Second, pushing early academics.
Is pushing early milestones about your child, or about external expectations? Are you seeing those reels on Instagram too?
Especially those from Eastern cultures, where very young children do lightning-fast multiplication in their heads or calculate on their fingers like tiny geniuses.
I’m sure you have.
And yes, it is impressive. But here’s the question no one asks out loud:
What had to happen to get there?
What did those hours look like behind the scenes?
What did the child feel in their body while learning?
Joy… or pressure?
Curiosity… or performance?
I want to be very clear about this, because nuance matters here.
I am all for early exposure to learning. Truly.
But early exposure through play, not pressure.
When we started our “official” homeschooling cycle with Adrian, he was just 22 months old. And let me tell you something that surprises people every time: he loved it.
Not tolerated it.
Not endured it.
Loved it. Why? Because it was completely child-led.
There were no drills. No worksheets.
No copying the same letter 100 times just to prove something.
Instead, our days were filled with experiences that felt like childhood.
There was sensory play, where his hands explored textures and temperatures before his brain ever needed to label anything.
There was outdoor play twice a day, feeling the sun on his face, the grass under his feet, the wind in his hair.
There were moments of cuddling on a blanket outside, reading aloud together while sipping tea and nibbling on cookies.
We played sound games. We played “I Spy.” We walked around the house with a basket, gathering objects that started with the sound A.
Not because a curriculum told us to. But because he was curious.
And curiosity is the engine of learning.
This is the part that often gets missed in those viral reels: children don’t burn out from learning.
They burn out from how learning is delivered.
The takeaway?
Early academics are not the enemy. Pressure is.
When learning is rooted in play, movement, connection, and joy, children don’t need to be pushed. They lean in.
They want more.
They ask for it.
That’s how you build not just early skills, but a lifelong love of learning. And that love? That’s the real flex.
P.S. If language development lights you up and you want to do this in a way that’s playful, intentional, and developmentally aligned, take a look at my Montessori Language Course. It’s built around exactly this philosophy: early exposure through joy, not drills.
Third, childhood independence.
Let me tell you something that still stops people in their tracks when I say it out loud.
When I was in first grade, I walked to school.
Alone.
Some days I walked.
Some days I took public transportation. No fanfare. No anxiety.
Just… trust.
Not because my parents didn’t care.
But because they did.
Independence wasn’t something you earned later.
It was something you were gradually given.
I still remember, later on, maybe around sixth grade, walking through the ❄️ snow, crunching under my feet, on my way to a before-school literature club that started at 7 a.m. The snow was deep, and the darkness felt even deeper.
But I didn’t mind. Not at all. When I finally saw the single light glowing in the school building, I knew I was close. And I remember feeling it clearly. That quiet certainty that I was exactly where I wanted to be.
That memory is a light-filled core memory for me. Not a trauma.
It felt purposeful. Quiet. Mine.
Now, fast-forward to parenting in the United States.
We hover. We track.
We escort our children from one supervised moment to the next. (Me included Lol!)
And listen, this is not about judgment.
Context matters. Safety matters. Culture matters.
But here’s the question worth asking gently, honestly:
Have we confused protection with preparation?
I see it all the time. Parents who deeply want confident, capable kids…
…but rarely allow them to struggle a little.
To wait a moment.
To try and fail and try again without immediate rescue.
Childhood independence doesn’t mean throwing your kid into the deep end.
- It means letting them pour their own water and clean up the spill.
- It means allowing them to walk a short distance ahead of you.
- It means trusting them with small responsibilities that say, “I believe in you.”
Because confidence isn’t taught through words. It’s built through experience.
When a child feels trusted, their body relaxes.
Their shoulders soften. They stand taller.
I’ve seen it in my own children.
That quiet pride when they realize, “I did this myself.”
And that feeling?
It compounds.
The takeaway?
Independence is not about age. It’s about opportunity.
Ask yourself:
Where can I step back just a little… so my child can step forward?
Because every small freedom you give today becomes inner confidence tomorrow.
And that kind of confidence?
You can’t buy it.
You have to build it.
Things I’m obsessed with right now:
• JV Hearts Collection. (I cannot decide which one. Too many cute ones! Lol)
• This body scale. (Works like a DEXA scan, but at home. And it’s on sale too, 35% off.)
• This hair regrowth supplement. (It actually works. I literally have a halo of new hair I now have to tame when I film.)
• This collagen peptide powder. (Not going to lie, it tastes horrid, so I mix it with this Glow Immune Booster.)
• This stain remover. (It really works, even on the toughest stains.)
Ok, my sweet friend 💛
This newsletter was a little longer than usual, and I’m curious.
Did you enjoy it? Hit reply and tell me.
Do you like this new “Things I’m obsessed with right now” add-on?
I’m always shaping this space with you in mind, so your feedback truly means everything to me.
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts,
Anya
P.S. If you want more real-life conversations like this, come listen to The Anya Garcia Show. It’s where I go deeper into parenting, mindset, and early years magic.
P.P.S. And if language development is on your heart right now, you can take a look at my Montessori Language Course. It’s playful, child-led, and built to support learning without pressure.
