The first six years of a child’s development shape their confidence, independence, and emotional security. Here’s what truly matters beyond milestones.
The first six years of your child’s life are not just a phase — they are the foundation. Beneath the milestones, the sleep regressions, the tantrums, and the tender moments, your child’s brain is forming patterns that will shape their confidence, independence, emotional security, and relationship to learning. What happens during this window is deeper than behavior and far more powerful than checklists. If you truly want to understand what is shaping your child long term, you have to look at the science and psychology behind first-six-years-child-development.
The Begining
I remember holding Julia in my arms—her black beady eyes staring up at me, and realizing I was her entire world.
I could not bear the thought of leaving her. Going back to depositions, courtrooms, legal briefs…
Putting on a suit while my body felt likeit belonged on the nursery floor.
But here’s what I don’t talk about often…
I was exhausted.
My lower back throbbed from hours of nursing and carrying her in a kangaroo wrap.
I gave her constant skin-to-skin contact because every resource said connection mattered.
But no one talked about me.
It felt like I was meant to dissolve… to become only “mother,” and nothing else.
No one talked about the sleep deprivation.
The insecurity.
The colic.
The nights walking the hallway with a baby whose digestive system simply wasn’t ready for this world.
And in the middle of all that… I started researching.
I kept hearing about “the importance of the first six years.”
But when I looked deeper, most resources focused only on physical milestones:
- At 1 month, they should weigh X.
- At 3 months, they should roll over.
- At 6 months, they should sit.
And I kept wondering…
- What’s underneath the physical development?
- What is actually happening in her brain?
In her emotional world? In her sense of self?
That’s when I discovered the Montessori method.
It felt like I had stumbled into a hidden universe. But it was overwhelming.
- The terminology.
- The pedagogy.
- The sensitive periods.
- The theory behind it all.
I would read an entire book just to understand one concept.
And I remember thinking:
Why isn’t there a clear, structured, simple path for mothers like me?
Mothers who are tired. Mothers who care deeply. Mothers who don’t have time to decode academic language.
That frustration… became the seed for everything I built.
Because here’s what I know now:
The early years are not just about physical milestones.
They are about identity.
Security.
Confidence.
Indirect preparation.
The invisible foundations that determine how a child will relate to learning, to love, to themselves.
And clarity changes everything.
When you lie in bed replaying the day. When you Google at 1:12 am, “Is this normal?”
When you snap… then feel the guilt hit your chest five minutes later.
When you wonder quietly, Am I doing enough?
That spiral isn’t weakness → It’s care without clarity .. and that feels a lot like anxiety.
Because when you don’t understand what’s happening developmentally,
- Every tantrum feels personal.
- Every regression feels urgent.
- Every strong-willed moment feels like a test you might be failing.
But while you’re questioning yourself … your child’s brain is wiring.
Not just learning to walk or talk, but forming beliefs:
- Am I safe?
- Do I matter?
- Can I try again?
This wiring happens in the micro-moments:
- your tone,
- your pause,
- your rhythm,
- the space you create for independence.
You don’t want more tips.
You want clarity. Confidence. Leadership that feels grounded instead of reactive.
The shift isn’t doing more. It’s seeing deeper.
Because when you understand the why beneath the behavior, you stop reacting — and start leading.
You stop chasing milestones and start shaping identity.
Not perfection. Power.
And foundations built on purpose change everything.
Do These 5 Things This Week — Watch What Happens
1️⃣ Slow Your Response by 5 Seconds
Before jumping in to help, correct, or fix — pause.
Count to five.
Often, your child is on the edge of figuring it out. That tiny pause builds problem-solving, confidence, and resilience. You’ll start seeing more independence almost immediately.
2️⃣ Lower Your Language
Instead of long explanations, use fewer words.
Say:
“Shoes stay on the shelf.”
“Milk stays on the table.”
“I won’t let you hit.”
Clear. Calm. Grounded.
Children regulate faster when language is simple and firm. You’ll notice fewer power struggles.
3️⃣ Create One “Yes” Space
Choose one drawer, shelf, or basket that is completely accessible.
No “don’t touch.”
No “be careful.”
No hovering.
When a child has a space where everything is allowed, behavior improves — because their need for autonomy is being met.
4️⃣ Protect 10 Minutes of Undivided Attention
Set a timer.
No phone.
No multitasking.
No teaching.
Just follow their lead.
Connection before correction changes the tone of the entire day. Tantrums often decrease simply because their emotional tank is fuller.
5️⃣ Narrate Effort, Not Outcome
Try:
- “You kept trying.”
- “You carried that carefully.”
- “You didn’t give up.”
This builds internal confidence instead of external validation. And you’ll start noticing them repeat behaviors without needing praise.
None of these require more time.
None require fancy materials.
None require perfection.
Just awareness.
And when you begin to see what’s really happening beneath the surface… everything shifts.
Enjoying this read? Come join me on the Anya Garcia Show.
