Breaking the conventional authoritarian parenting paradigm is hard, but it is a revolution worth fitting for in order to let our children grow to their fullest potentials.
Children are unique sovereign beings and are neither good nor bad! They just ARE different! Superior to us by virtue of their innocence and free to fulfill their own destiny and not the one imposed by parents’ unfulfilled needs or desires. Breaking the conventional parenting-paradigm is a Parenting Revolution that begins and ends with the parent-child relationship! The new paradigm favors respect over totalitarianism, observation over dictatorship, free flow of energy over imposing a set of rules or expectations. This child-centered approach values connection over correction, and communication over punishmnet. Are we ready to embrace it and live it? That is the question!
Children are Neither Good nor Bad
Children are born persons and are neither good nor bad! They are who they ARE! Different, unique, and sacred. Breaking the paradigm of imposing, labeling then judging and correcting, takes a shift of consciousness! It means putting our own ego or insecurities aside and truly listening and following the child!
Breaking Conventional Parenting-Paradigm
We think we know what is best for our children just by being their parents. We feel a sense of possession, control, and power. We want them to do/be what we did, or wished but did not have a chance to become. We hope our unfulfilled dreams will become reality through our children while depriving them of sovereign choice or liberty. We mold, correct, impose rather than letting them be! However, our children are here to fulfill their own destiny unweighted by our baggage.
I remember my daughter telling me that the ballet was ‘not her thing’ after devoting five years to it and living my dream! I was heartbroken until I realized that it was my unfulfilled desire to practice ballet that I was materializing through her sovereign soul.
Can you recall instances of living your wishes through your child? Share in comments!
PARENTING has NOTHING to do with PERFECTION
Moreover, parenting needs not be perfect! “Perfection is not even the goal, not for us, not for our children. LEARNING together to live well in an imperfect world, LOVING each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and GROWING as humans while we grow our little humans, are the goals of GENTLE parenting. So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is PERFECT parenting.” ― L.R. Knost, The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline.
In fact, children do NOT need perfect parents! They need kind, loving, and patient parents who are there for them! They need YOU! And the mere fact that you worry whether or not you are a perfect parent, means that you already are a good one! So put the worry aside and enjoy the precious childhood with your children as it does not last forever! Before you know, they would not be sitting on your laps, or sneaking in your bed in the morning. You will not be carrying them asleep or hold their hand while crossing the road! You will not be tucking in their blankets or singing lullabies… These moments are precious and hold on to them as long as you can and embrace motherhood, parenthood, grandparenthood and all love materialized!
What are your thoughts about breaking the conventional parenting-paradigm? What about the pressure of being a perfect parent? Leave a comment!
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So nicely written..
Thank you so much! I am so glad you liked it. I feel now more than ever that we need ponder about what we project on our children. Xo, Anya